How To Respond To Your Child's Requests

A friend's mom used the following response when her kids asked her for permission to do something out-of-the-ordinary, "If you push me now, the answer is no. If you let me think about your request the answer is maybe yes."

Brilliant.

A Moral Nation is Blessed

In Vishal Mangalwadi's compelling book, Truth and Transformation, he opens with a discussion about a visit to a dairy in Holland. He visits it with a Dutch friend and is stunned when his friend takes his milk from the case in the empty shop, puts his money in an open basket, and removes his change. Mangalwadi is struck by his friend's level of honesty. In his experience, an Indian would take both the money and the milk.

As he thought about it, he realized that a culture that is not based on honesty requires higher levels of oversight that add no value to the product. In a dishonest culture, the dairy farmer would need to hire a sales girl to protect the money, a supplier could add water to the milk, so consumers would need an inspector to check the milk, and if not honest, an inspector could take bribes. None of these people add value to the product. Mangalwadi says, "In paying for the extra workers, I simply pay for my sin: my propensity to covet and steal my neighbor's milk and money. The high price of sin makes it difficult for me to buy ice cream; that is to say the price of sin prevents me from patronizing genuine economic activity."

Mangalwadi says that moral teaching in the West came from religious reformers like Martin Luther, John Knox and John Amos Comenius who universalized education to civilize generations of Europe. They based education on Judeo-Christian ideas such as "God is holy; He has given us moral laws such as the Ten Commandments; obedience to God's Word is the source of good life; disobedience to God's moral law is sin that does not go unpunished, and sinners can repent and receive forgiveness."

This teaching became the intellectual foundation of the modern West, the force that produced moral integrity, economic prosperity, and political freedom.

Mangalwadi's comments that modern educators reject divine revelation and seek to discover truth with the human mind alone. But, without divine revelation, the human mind is incapable of knowing whether the universe is moral. Mangalwadi believes the West will follow India into corruption as moral teaching is dismissed.

What can we do?

Choose to live morally.

In Genesis, God tells Abraham that He is going to destroy two wicked cities, Sodom and Gomorrah.

Abraham asks God, "Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing--to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?"

The Lord replies, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake."

Abraham then asks if God would destroy the city for 45, then 40, then 30, then 20 righteous people. In each instance God affirms that He will not destroy the city for the sake of the righteous.

Then (Abraham) said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?"

God answered, "For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it."

I pray that we will be righteous people who will change the course and destiny of our Nation.

Homeschooling as a social movement

Since I have been praying that God will increase the next generation of homeschoolers, I was struck by what Vishal Mangalwadi writes in his book Truth and Transformation about social movements. (He says he would like to encourage the gospel to move forward as a social movement.)

I thought: "How can we use Mangalwadi's ideas to help push the homeschooling movement forward?"

I wrote up the following summary to some of my coworkers at Sonlight--and to my husband, John.

John urged me to post it here on my blog. "Get your readers' input!"

So here is my summary of Mangalwadi's insights as I have just begun to meditate on and interpret them for the homeschooling movement.

1. Vision--Mangalwadi says, "(T)his vision must be spelled out in imaginative language through a wide range of media, including speech, writing, the arts, and the formation of new institutions." How do we mold vision for homeschooling? I think in the past too much of the "vision" has been simply to "protect our family from the evils of society." Can we change that perception to something like: unified families, strong, empowered children, purposeful lives, change the world...?
    
2. Values--"the core convictions its members cherish above all else" I wonder if we can incorporate some of the ideas Mangalvwadi's lists--Centered in Christ, Committed to unity, Loving others, Seeking excellence. --Is this something that we can find more Christian homeschoolers to tweak and embrace?
    
3. Vernacular--"a vocabulary of terms, ideas, mottoes, and catchphrases that are broadly understood and embraced and used consistently throughout the movement to provide integrity, direction, and unity." I'm thinking that such terms could include phonics, unit study, literature, support groups....
    
4. Volunteers--people "committed to the project by conviction of mind, heart, and conscience, as well as devotion of life." According to Mangalwadi, "social movements require six kinds of volunteers:
    
   • Visionaries--people who define and articulate the vision in clear and compelling terms.
      
   • Vocalizers--men and women who communicate the vision to volunteers, public and others (people who speak at conventions, on the web?).
      
   • Vanguard--leaders in the field who translate the vision into action (homeschool companies?).
      
   • Voles--men and women "on the ground" who carry the work through to realizing the vision (the moms who teach?).
      
   • Vestry--organizers, tabulators, evaluators, and accountants.
      
   • Versifiers--those who celebrate the achievements of the volunteers and the progress of the movement." (PR people?)
     
     How can we encourage the various roles?
5. Vehicles--"entities by which the movement expresses its convictions, mobilizes and resources its volunteers, sustains and guides its energy, advances its progress, communicates its vision, and engages the world on the ground" (homeschool companies, blogs...).
    
6. Validation--"A social movement, to succeed, must be able to demonstrate progress." "These results must be intentionally sought, assiduously assessed, and faithfully celebrated at every level of the movement and to the public at large." Have we done a good enough job showing how effective homeschooling is? How can we do this more effectively?

So. What do you think? Any insights or ideas?

What is your role?

Haste the Day!

Last evening I (and some of my kids) watched an excellent Disney film called Glory Road that highlights the integration of college basketball.

Set in El Paso, Texas, a newly hired coach, Don Haskins, desires strong players, but his small school's budget prevents him from enticing strong, nationally known players. Don notices an outstanding black player who is underutilized by his team and wonders if there are more players like him. Don eventually recruits an entire team of black players who otherwise would have been unable to attend college.

The movie highlights the racial prejudice against black players. At one point, my son-in-law asked, "Was it really that bad?" (The answer is, "Yes.")

His comment reminded me of a speech I heard by Star Parker in which she predicted that one day, abortion, or the murder of unborn children, would be as abhorrent to us as the odious prejudice against African Americans in the past.

Oh Lord, haste the day!

"I'm Proud of You"

Last evening we, as a family, were reading Ralph Moody's compelling biography, Man of the Family. In it, Ralph remembers back to when he was eleven years old and responsible to hold together his family of seven (Mom and five siblings) after his father died unexpectedly. As an entrepreneur, Ralph cooks up a variety of jobs to help raise funds for the family. I love how he strategizes and plans on how best to do a task, and then works it diligently.

As Ralph takes on a new job, he tries to reason out how his Father would have done the task. If you are a parent, may I encourage you to carefully demonstrate to your children how to do work and live life? Your children are watching. Let them learn from you how to live excellently.

When Ralph earns necessary cash, he gladly brings it home to the family. His mother always responds with, "I'm so proud of you, Ralph."

Ralph wrote Man of the Family when he was fifty two years old. And, while the challenging events from his childhood would be memorable, I find it fascinating that those words from his mother stuck in his mind all those years.

May we as parents learn from Ralph's mother's example and encourage our children!

Kindling Literacy, Part 3

In Pursuit of Gold: Teach Your Children the Value of Reading

In a world teeming with electronic gadgets that compete for the attention of children and adults, many are missing out on the joy of truly great literature. This last portion of my series on "Kindling Literacy" explains the heart of a life-long learner--an internal motivation sparked by a strong sense of value.

The only way to increase literacy is by motivating non-readers to want to read. Motivation to read--I mean intrinsic motivation--comes when readers (or potential readers) recognize how much truly wonderful, valuable, can't-live-without-it content they will miss if they don't read.

Consider the numerous gold and silver rushes throughout history: No one had to pay the prospectors to run to California or Alaska or Colorado to stake their claims and dig for the precious metals. They gladly pursued that work from their own desire.

For those who don't already recognize the value of reading, Amazon's Kindle--or a similar electronic book--will do nothing to overcome the intrinsic problem that arises when someone has not yet mastered or found motivation for doing the relatively difficult cognitive work of reading.

For such people, when offered the cognitively passive activity of TV or video games v. the cognitively active opportunity to read ... they will always choose the passive activity.

Despite what benefits exist, the only way to get these people to actually take the more difficult path is to demonstrate its value (Students must realize "there's gold in them thar hills!"). The way to demonstrate the value of reading is by reading to them--with verve and vigor--truly wonderful books.

So, help your children catch "gold fever." Make reading good books that engage their imaginations and their hearts a regular part of your life, and watch how that "glimmer" continues to inspire them to learn. I'd love to help you do that through Sonlight Curriculum if you're ready for the learning adventure of your life.

Kindling Literacy Part 2: The Sound of a Good Book

(Read Kindling Literacy Part 1)

My husband John and I desire not only to help our own children love to read, but to help families all over the world discover this love as well.

Here’s how we endeavor to create a love for reading (through both content and method):
We choose attractive, quality books.

I was quite distressed over the literature selections I found in the children's department during a recent visit to a chain bookstore. I couldn't find a single award-winning book. Everything I looked at was the literary equivalent of junk food: the results of mass-marketing campaigns or spin-offs of cartoons and movies. I was absolutely flabbergasted. Where was the carefully crafted prose? The well-drawn characters that stay with you for a lifetime?

Kids and parents need lists of quality books, so they can know they are spending time reading GOOD literature—the kind of books that hook your kids for life. I want to make sure families can look to sonlight.com for books that are truly worthwhile.

We read aloud (that is a both past and present-tense read!) to our children and encourage other families to do so through the structure of Sonlight Curriculum. One of literacy’s best-kept secrets is the power of reading out loud to children. Why?

• As I noted in my last post in this series: Because reading aloud enables you to prove that reading itself is a valuable activity. When you read great books to your children, it develops within them (most children, anyway!) a profound desire to read on their own: "Oh, what am I missing?!?"
• Because when children can hear their parents tell colorful, rich tales from around the world, and when they hear the excitement in their parents voices as they “get into the best parts” of the story, they understand that books are more than lots of words to sound out and string together. They understand them as a valuable entertainment and an open door to a wide world of knowledge.
• Because when children can simply enjoy a story rather than having, also, to do the hard work of decoding all the words, it provides additional encouragement that reading is really worthwhile.
• Because when children listen to captivating stories above the level they can actually read themselves, it means they can find inspiration, discover the value of books, and find out why reading is worth the work. They learn it is worth their while to strive for something beyond their current abilities.
• When parents read aloud to their children…
  Kids gain a strong vocabulary.
• They learn how to relate to other people through the examples (positive and negative, good and bad) of people in the stories they read.
• Parents are encouraged to discuss issues they might not otherwise address--but that they really want to address, now that the subject has been broached. They are thus encouraged to shape their children’s character and critical thinking skills in ways they would otherwise not touch them.
• Besides just recounting the events of a story, children learn how to observe, make conclusions, and form opinions.
• And I cannot overestimate the value of reading aloud together as a family as a form of bonding and making memories. I fondly think of the times when my son Justin and my husband John read the Ralph Moody Little Britches series during the summer between Justin's junior and senior year in high school. They sat there, shoulder to shoulder, for hours. Not because Justin was incapable of reading the books on his own, but because he and his dad enjoyed the shared experience and the chance to dialogue together. Now, even though my children are all adults, some of them will come over and we will read books out loud together in the evening. It’s one of our favorite pastimes.

Reading out loud, I am convinced, is the best (and, possibly, only) way to prove to non-readers that they are missing something they really and truly do not want to miss.

At Sonlight, parents send us testimonies galore of children young and old who "hated" to read . . . but, when introduced to the wide and wonderful world of thoughtful, rich and emotionally satisfying literature, they "can't help themselves" but keep reading.

We often hear from women who had never seen their husbands read anything. These men overhear their wives reading to the kids. Next thing Mom knows, her husband is asking to be permitted to sit in on the reading . . . or complains when she and the kids read ahead and he can't overhear the story . . . or he begs to be permitted to do the reading for her.

Talk about captivating books! Just imagine the impact parents so “hooked” on good literature will make on their children. Kids may actually buy into the concept that learning is not just for “school days,” but a life-long adventure. (May it be so for more and more children!)

I aim to spread this contagious love for good books and a desire to learn through Sonlight Curriculum—it’s one of the reasons I spend so much time carefully evaluating and choosing great literature for our homeschool programs.

I believe families will love to read and learn by the time they finish a year of bonding and growing together over great books. I’m committed to finding materials that enable just that, and Sonlight Curriculum goes a step further and even guarantees it.

So what are you waiting for? Go steal a moment with your kids and a great book right now!
Sarita
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Be sure to come back soon to read the final post in this series “Motivation Stems from Perceived Value” or “Why you wouldn’t have to pay me to pan for gold.”